What I’ve learnt about gaslighting.

What is gaslighting? Lemme tell you… its a messed up thing. Gaslighting is when someone manipulates you into thinking you’re always wrong. Gaslighters get into your head and make you question yourself and your entire sense of being.

What I’ve learnt about gaslighters so far:

  • they hardly ever own up to what they did/said
  • they’re always looking for sympathy from people on the outside
  • they will¬†tell other people you are crazy so that when you tell people about their abuse, shit just doesn’t check out.
  • they use your insecurities as a way to manipulate you
  • they always question your memories, for example scrutinizing the way you give your account of what happened and then asking many questions which send you in circles and or/confuse you- you begin to think that you’re delusional
  • they are constantly putting you down, indirectly or directly

What I’ve learnt about gaslightees so far:

  • “i was never like this… i used to be strong/confident etc”
  • they lack trust in themselves and their own decision making ability
  • they apologize more than they should
  • they overthink
  • they feel like they’re not good enough
  • they have trouble being around other people because they think they are inadequate and that people will notice
  • they are unhappy and don’t know why
  • they are, more often than not, very dependent on their gaslighter- be it financially or emotionally, they always turn to their gaslighter for answers.

Experts say that most gaslighters will gaslight their victims intentionally. However, even being unaware of their gaslighting does not make it acceptable because it could still, obviously, be very damaging to their victims. If you are in a relationship where you feel like you are being gaslighted, get out or seek help. Its THAT serious.

More on gaslighting: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201701/gaslighting-know-it-and-identify-it-protect-yourself